And Mr. Poopy-Pants-Know-It-All spake and said, "The time is nigh for me to act two-years-of-age. As I biddest, so shall it be done.
"From this day forth shall I utter such abominations as, 'NO' and 'HOLY SMOKE' and 'NO' again. And, when I have said it a million times before, I shall sayest 'NO' again.
"I shall beget much confusion and fury in my kingdom whilst I throwest my toys about and whilst I touchest the things I was bade not to touch. There shall be much wailing and gnashing of teeth as I resist the discipline of my fathers.
"Stiff necked boy that I am, so shall I be done with naps. But though my napest time be gone, I shall rise before the sun at 5:30am.
"I shall push my sister in her swing most vigorously and I shall try to carry her about the house with all my strength.
"So shall I refuse the eating of my vegetables and the cleaning of my ears. So shall I also refuse to heed my mother's warnings. Refusals shall be the name of the game and the name of the game shall refusals be.
"Heartily will I roll my eyes and heave my breast with sighing when my mother dost bid me do as she please.
And Mr. Poopy-Pants-Know-It-All also spake, saying, "I shall fill my diapers with The Great Stink four times a day. Four times a day, no more, no less. Four shall be the number I shalt fill, and the number of the filling shall be four. Five shalt I not fill, neither fill I three, excepting that I then proceed to four. Five is right out. Once the number four, being the fourth number, be reached, then shall I be satisfied with the filling of my pants.
"So shall it be!"
...and so it was.
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5 comments:
One of the things I MOST admire in a person is humor....the ability to laugh at oneself or ones circumstances. I am admiring you greatly just now, Oh Duchness.
PS Don't worry, this too shall pass - for awhile. And when Mr Poopy-Pants-Knows-It-All becomes Mr Baggy-Pants-Knows-Everything (teenage boy) you will look back on these years of two-ness with longing - because at least you are still bigger than he is! But don't worry, there are many years of joy in between 2 and 14.
HAHAHA (And great was the sorrow of the Mother) You are making my sides hurt and my eyes runneth over and now you made me talketh like this also.
Don't you just love it??! He's SO key-UUUTE! (I also love his 2 syllable pronunciation of cute)
HeHeHe!!
Humor is about the only thing that keeps a mother of a Mr.Poopy-Pants-Know-It-All sane during his Poopy-Pants-Know-It-All phase. And it is a phase.
Grandma Farm
[I-Survived-Mother of TWO Mr.Poopy-Pants-Know-It-All boys]
Ah, I remember when my kids went through the terrible twos. I also remember when some granola-eating-acquaintance suggested that I shouldn't call it "Terrible Twos" I should call it the "Terrific Twos". Ya, uh-huh. Here in the real world ... isn't it great that God in His infinite wisdom created them sooooo cute ~ ensuring that they actually make it to their 3rd birthday? My favourite age was 4 (sorry you have to wait so long). At 4 they get all philosophical-like, use big words and oh, did I mention, they're POTTY trained?!
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